Practice Managing Reactivity: Skill 6

Each MCD Relationship Competency identifies 6 Skills, along with specific practices for learning each. For more context about MCD Relationship Competency 6: Managing Reactivity, see Skill 1: Engage an “anchor” or any regulation strategy when you notice reactivity, Skill 2: Identify at least three interpersonal de-escalation strategies, Skill 3: Shift to empathy, self-empathy, or honesty the moment reactivity is identified, Skill 4: Name the differences between useful feedback regarding unmet needs, and blame or judgment, and Skill 5: Engage in healing experiences related to tender needs.

Skill 6: Each time suspicion and mistrust come up for you, ask yourself: What else could be true? Express the benefit of the doubt and check in for clarity.

Giving others the benefit of doubt when doubt arises is a practice that interrupts reactivity especially as it relates to emotional security. It requires noticing reactivity and disidentifying with thoughts that generate painful assumptions about how another is falling short or doing something to hurt you.

Practice 

1. Identify three times in which you made a negative assumption about the thoughts or feelings behind someone’s behavior.

2. For each situation ask yourself, “What else could be true?’

• Imagine you are confident and secure regarding your own value and the value of the connection in this relationship.

• Next, write down two other possibilities to explain the other person’s behavior.