3 Types of Practice for Dissolving Self-Doubt

In the consciousness of Mindful Compassionate Dialogue, it is a given that your natural state is one of compassion and loving-kindness. Unfortunately, sometimes self-doubt can be like a thick cloud covering the light of your true nature.

Given the foundational premise of your innate goodness, any practice you do is really about making it easier for you to realize what's already there— what's already true. Grounding yourself firmly and knowing fully the truth of your own goodness allows you to enjoy life and help others. Let's look at three categories of practices for supporting and developing your access to this truth, and helping to dissolve self-doubt. 

1. Expansive Thoughts & Behaviors

One gem reader writes: "Practically speaking, in my life, throughout my day, I notice that I unconsciously move toward being grounded in the illusion of my inherent defectiveness."

This gem reader has made a critical observation. She knows that habits of self-doubt are coming up frequently at a subconscious level. It can be helpful to become conscious of the various forms of self-doubt such as limiting core beliefs, reactive patterns of thought, reactive body sensations or reactive behaviors. But even if you don’t become aware of them all, you can consciously practice expansive thoughts, core beliefs, and behaviors. Each time you have an expansive thought about your goodness, you interrupt and lessen the momentum of self-doubt.

Expansive thoughts and beliefs include some version of the following:

• I am

• I belong

• I am supported

• I trust the natural unfolding of my life

• I can do this

• I am safe

• I am loved (I am love)

• I am okay

• I am enough

• I am free

Expansive behaviors might include:

• Looking up at others and smiling

• Feeling nervous about speaking up and doing it anyway

• Relaxing your shoulders

• Taking several full deep and slow breaths

• Relaxing the muscles in your face

• Breathing through your heart

• Letting yourself play, laugh, sing, dance

• Softening and receiving

2. Learn to Receive

An ability to receive from others is based, in part, on your own sense of worthiness.  When you intentionally receive, you send yourself a message of worthiness. Here are some examples of receiving:

• When someone smiles at you, soften your body and energy and hold the intention to open and receive.

• When someone offers appreciation, maintain eye contact and say "I am taking it in."  Again, soften your face, eyes, whole body and energy and hold the intention to open and receive.

• When someone offers you a hug, let yourself melt into the embrace and put all of your awareness in the feel of their arms around you.

• Repeat out loud an appreciation that someone has offered.  Say it slowly, breathe through your heart, and soften your body as you do.

• Offer prayers, say mantras, or recite texts from your spiritual tradition and as you do so, soften your body and energy and hold the intention to open and receive.

3. Cultivate Compassionate Stillness and Release

FOCUS: Sit upright in a comfortable position. State your intention to maintain your focus on one object (your breath, sound of the rain, the flame of a candle, etc.) and to compassionately greet any experience in your thoughts, body, or what’s happening around you with a soft "that's okay."  Then return to your object of focus.  

RELEASE: Sit upright in a comfortable position. State your intention to release holding and tension, while accepting whatever parts of you that do not release. Start by placing your attention at the top of your head, and with a soft voice tell yourself it is okay to relax, let go, expand (find the phrase that is right for you). Move this attention down your body at the same speed that an egg would move if you had cracked it at the top of your head.  

EXPAND: Sit upright in a comfortable position. Feel your whole body at once. Invite yourself to relax. Put your awareness in the space just an inch outside your body and again invite yourself to relax into that space. Continue this pattern expanding slowly out from your body.   

The key to any of these practices is consistency. Choose one that seems doable and easy to integrate into your life. Because much of the main flow of the world doesn't support this kind of focus, it's helpful to make practices like these the first focus of your day before the world of distraction gets a hold of you. It's equally important to participate in groups who are holding the same intentions and have regular practice.

Practice

Take a moment now to choose any of the practices above and try it on, even for a minute. Then decide if you would like to choose that practice for the week. While the sitting practices are ideally done for an hour, any amount of time per day is good to start with. You might also do a few minutes upon waking and a few minutes before bed.