Is this you?
You want to be generous and kind, yet find that you are giving yourself away. You end up saying yes to more than can or want to do.
Or, you find yourself participating in toxic interactions and wish you could rely on yourself to set a boundary.
Or, you want to be closer to others and find yourself feeling distant and disconnected regardless of your hope to be close.
You are ready to get clear about how to yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. You want the tools to determine what really works for you. You want to trust yourself to navigate relationship decisions with skill and wisdom.
What is it all about?
Life-serving Boundaries: Competency 8
Having clarity about life-serving boundaries in relationships allows a greater sense of security and freedom. When you know what the boundaries are for you and others, you also know where you are free to play and grow together.
Setting life-serving boundaries means having clarity about what really serves life or meets needs and making a conscious decision about how you will relate to another or behave in a particular situation. To set life-serving boundaries, you need to be able to recognize and honor your own needs, speak clearly about them, understand the verbal and behavioral language of boundary setting, honor the needs of others without taking responsibility for them, and engage in healing work with regard to your experiences of boundary violations in the past.
Learning to set life-serving boundaries is a relationship competency that helps you embody an authentic life and live respectfully with others.
You can find many articles on life-serving boundaries in our archives. This one is a good place to start.
Topics for the four week series:
Introduction to Boundaries
You will learn about six different types of boundaries and work with examples for each. In structured exercises, you will have an opportunity to study how you set boundaries and organize priorities. Specifically you will have an opportunity to notice how you may have systematically excluded certain needs from being met while favoring others.
Evaluating Boundaries
You will learn tools to evaluate the boundary that will best meet your needs and the needs of others in a variety of relationships such as with yourself, work, school, family, friends, and intimate partnership. You will then practice ways to set the boundaries you want in those relationships.
Boundaries and Power
You will study power dynamics in experiential exercises. You will have the opportunity to study how you engage in “power over” or “power under” and make distinctions about how to maintain equitable power (“power with”) in personal relationships, hierarchies at work, and in community.
Repairing Boundary Violations
Repairing boundary violations can happen in a variety of ways. You will learn a variety of ways to approach repair depending on the boundary you want to set in a particular relationship. For example, repair looks very different in relationships in which you want to maintain healthy intimacy versus those in which you want to maintain healthy distance.
What to expect:
You will interact with other students who are grounded in the values of mindfulness and compassion and bring a strong intention for growth and transformation. You will engage in conceptual learning, group discussion, experiential learning, and skills practice. Practice exercises will be done individually, in pairs, and in small groups. You will apply examples that you choose from your own life in each exercise.
Wise Heart has many dedicated students. Any given class series will be a mix of students who are new to Wise Heart and students who know the trainers and each other from previous courses.
Understanding the online format
Students will be signing in from their own location in real time, at the same time. We will be able to see and hear each other in little boxes on the screen. For visibility, it's important to have a light in front of you, not behind you. The technology allows for breaking up into pairs or small groups, which I can visit and check in with just as I would do in an in-person course.
It's okay to miss one class in the series. You will receive a recording of the class and be asked to view it and do the corresponding exercises before the next class. Students won't be shown on the recording, but can be heard.
You can also opt to take the series only through the recording and to participate in discussion via the online format.
With the online format you can participate in a weekly discussion with all students. I recommend that you find someone to do the course exercises with if you are receiving the recording.
You will receive a detailed workbook as a part of the class, which you will need to have with you for each class. This workbook is packed with information and contains instructions for each experiential exercise.
Details:
Live attendance means:
Attending at least three of the four classes.
Arriving on time to each class (10:00am PDT).
Attending and participating for the duration of the class. There will be a 10-minute break in the middle It is disruptive for group learning and process to come in and out of a single class session; please plan to attend by recording if you cannot stay for the full two hours of the class. Let me know if you will arrive a few minutes late to a given class.
Consistent access to internet speeds and connectivity that support video conferencing (600kbps/1.2Mbps (up/down) for HQ video; 1.5Mbps/1.5Mbps (up/down) for gallery view).
Facility with using the Zoom video conferencing system. Please ask to consult with one of the staff members at Wise Heart if you are unsure about this aspect of your attendance.
Logging in each week using the initial instructions and meeting ID # you received before the start of the course.
Optional participation in the weekly online discussion with all students enrolled in the course.
Self-paced attendance means:
As self-paced participants, you will receive an extensive workbook as well as access to the video recordings of each session within 24 hours of the end of the session (12:00 p.m PDT).
You can ask to be assigned a study buddy to work with if you like.
Questions regarding the material, recordings, and practice each week will be answered by LaShelle via email correspondence. Please place the word QUESTION in all caps in the subject line so that we can track them and respond in a timely manner.
Optional participation in a weekly online discussion with all students enrolled in the course.
For more technical information about zoom, you can go here.
Trainer: LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
When:
10am to 12pm over Zoom on June 20th
10am to 12pm over Zoom on June 27th (no July 4th)
10am to 12pm over Zoom on July 11th
10am to 12pm over Zoom on July 18th
Where: Zoom Online Video Conferencing
Register
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