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Wise Heart
Practical Skills for Personal Transformation and Thriving Relationships

You shouldn't feel that way!

Feelings: uncomfortable, irritated, confused
Needs: ease, peace, clarity

Jackal DictionaryWise HeartDecember 5, 2018
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We are so excited to announce that we are now offering a Wise Heart Membership! Become a member of our online community and enjoy a safe and supportive learning environment. Learn more and apply: https://www.wiseheartpdx.org/join-our-community . . . . . #community #wiseheartpdx #learningcommunity #onlinecommunity #buildingcommunity #members #thriving #relationshipskills #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nonviolentcommunication #hakomi wiseheartpdx.org “You long for a balanced life, for daily life to have a sense of meaning and joy. Making changes to create a balanced life occurs both in daily decisions and in an examination of how you have organized your life as a whole. Both require you to reflect on what’s happening and what really works. Five aspects of life can be particularly helpful to pay attention to when you take time to reflect.” Read more in our weekly Connection Gem: https://www.wiseheartpdx.org/posts/2019/7/18/5-considerations-for-living-a-balanced-life . . . . #balancedlife #findingbalance #howtofindbalance #mindfulness #relationshipskills #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #nvc wiseheartpdx.org Needs-Based Negotiation is supported by a safe and focused setting. . . . . #negotiation #collaboration #communication #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nvc #hakomi #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org Set up Needs-Based Negotiation for success by identifying the needs present for you before the dialogue begins. . . . . . #negotiation #dialogue #collaboration #resolvingconflict #communication #couplescommunication #helpwithcommunication wiseheartpdx.org Q: "What’s the best first step in learning Needs-based Negotiation?" A: Begin by using your needs list to identify needs present for you in at least one interaction every day for a month. . . . . #needsbasednegotiation #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nvc wiseheartpdx.org When there is care for each other’s needs, strategies like pleading, lobbying, and criticizing drop away. . . . . . #caring #needs #pleading #lobbying #criticizing #relationshipskills #communication #nvc #mindfulcompassionatedialogue wiseheartpdx.org In Needs-Based Negotiation, reassurance about caring and consideration is offered frequently. . . . . . #negotiation #needs #reassurance #caring #consideration #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org In Needs-Based Negotiation, details are not discussed until there is a clear sense of caring for each other’s needs. . . . . . #negotiation #caring #empathy #beingheard #connection #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nvc #hakomi #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org "Conflict is usually uncomfortable and definitely unavoidable. At the same time, it can often lead to learning, creativity, and enhanced trust. Knowing there is such valuable potential, you want to be able to approach conflict directly with confidence and skill when it arises. Regardless of the specifics of a particular conflict, resolving conflict includes six basic steps or points of focus..." Read more in our weekly Connection Gem: https://www.wiseheartpdx.org/posts/2019/7/10/6-steps-to-resolving-conflict . . . . . . #conflict #resolvingconflict #helpwithconflict #relationshipskills #arguing #helpwitharguing #marriageconflict #relationshipconflict #howtoresolveconflict #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #nvc #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org In Needs-based Negotiation, empathic listening is the most central feature. . . . . . #empathy #empathiclistening #listeningwithempathy #listening #justlistening #negotiation #needs #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org When things are moving along smoothly, take time to notice the quality of connection and how it was formed. . . . . . #connection #needs #communication #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #nonviolentcommunication #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org Q: "When I notice that the connection with the other person isn’t very good, what can I do about that?" A: Disconnect arises from a sense of threat, thus paths to connection often include reassurance about safety and caring. See this Connection Gem for some dialogue cues: https://www.wiseheartpdx.org/posts/2019/1/31/relief-from-arguing?rq=collaboration . . . . . #threat #disconnection #fighting #arguing #conflict #helpwithconflict #connection #safety #reassurance #caring #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #mindfulness #hakomi #nvc wiseheartpdx.org Needs-based negotiation rests on trust that connection is the most effective way to meet needs. . . . . . #negotiation #trust #connection #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nvc #hakomi #mindfulness #relationshipskills wiseheartpdx.org Learning to prioritize connection is supported by reflecting on the suffering created by result-focused consciousness. . . . . . #suffering #connection #support #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nvc #hakomi #mindfulness #relationshipskills wiseheartpdx.org Prioritizing a quality of connection over an end result requires curiosity and a release of attachment. . . . . #curiosity #attachment #mindfulness #hakomi #nonviolentcommunication #mindfulcompassionatedialogue wiseheartpdx.org
"Setting boundaries is about being firmly grounded in self-respect and clear about what works for you. From the framework of Mindful Compassionate Dialogue, a life-serving boundary means making a conscious decision about how you will relate to another or behave in a particular situation." Read more in our weekly Connection Gem: https://www.wiseheartpdx.org/posts/2019/7/4/the-basics-of-life-serving-boundaries-relationship-competency-8 . . . . . #boundaries #whatareboundaries #howtosetboundaries #typesofboundaries #helpwithboundaries #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness #nonviolentcommunication wiseheartpdx.org Needs-based negotiation requires a paradigm shift in which you track the quality of connection as first priority. . . . . . #negotiation #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nonviolentcommunication #hakomi #mindfulness #connection #relationshipskills wiseheartpdx.org Life is a negotiation with all other living beings. The quality of consciousness you bring to that is what matters. . . . . . . #negotiation #howtostoparguing #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nvc #hakomi #mindfulness #connection #relationships wiseheartpdx.org Q: "What is Needs-Based Negotiation?" A: Learning needs-based negotiation will give you a sense of ease and creativity as you face the most difficult situations in life. You will be able to enter into challenging dialogues with a confidence that all needs can be honored. There are three key distinctions that make needs-based negotiation different from other forms of negotiation. First, in needs-based negotiation, the quality of connection is the top priority. We trust that when there is a particular quality of connection, collaboration and creativity become accessible. Second, when the aliveness of needs/values in the present moment inform the process, we find truly effective strategies, solutions, and agreements. Lastly, needs-based negotiation is inclusive. It rests on a confidence that each person can be equally honored and respected. . . . . . #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #hakomi #mindfulness #ease #creativity
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