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Wise Heart
Practical Skills for Personal Transformation and Thriving Relationships

You are being crazy!

Feelings: frustrated, confused, angry, 
Needs: peace, clarity, ease, collaboration, groundedness

Jackal DictionaryWise HeartDecember 5, 2018
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You are being so critical!

Jackal DictionaryWise HeartDecember 5, 2018
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You are always grumpy or upset about something!

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Q: "What does regulation mean?" A: Attending to regulation means noticing the rhythms of your emotions and physiology and doing that which supports coherance and eveness. . . . . . #regulation #groundedness #mindfulness #acceptance #relationshipskills wiseheartpdx.org Sometimes managing reactivity involves major decisions such as changing careers or ending a relationship. . . . . . . #endingarelationship #breakingup #careerchange #change #breakup #communicationskills #reactivity #mindfulness #nonviolentcommunication wiseheartpdx.org Setting up your life for managing reactivity means respecting your limits and responsibly tending to your needs. . . . . . #limits #boundaries #reactivity #balance #balancedlife #needs #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #hakomi #mindfulness #relationshipskills wiseheartpdx.org Lifestyle choices for managing reactivity means that decision-making revolves around what will support consistent groundedness. . . . . . #reactivity #groundedness #regulation #relationshipskills #presence #mindfulness #nonviolentcommuniation #nvc #hakomi wiseheartpdx.org "Mindfully name how things have changed. Gently update your nervous system. Those threats and events of the past are over. You are okay in this moment." Read more in our weekly Connection Gem: https://www.wiseheartpdx.org/posts/2019/6/19/how-to-meet-hurt-and-pain-from-the-past . . . . . #healing #pain #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org Learning to anchor is one of the most powerful practices you can do to manage reactivity. Learn more about how to anchor here: https://www.wiseheartpdx.org/posts/2019/4/11/using-an-anchor-in-self-empathy . . . . . . #reactivity #anchor #howtocommunicate #communicationinrelationships #couplescommunication #effectivecommunication Simply naming thoughts, body sensations, impulses, feelings, and needs helps keep mindfulness on board in the face of reactivity. . . . . . #naming #mindfulness #reactivity #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #nonviolentcommunciation #nvc #regulation wiseheartpdx.org In-the-moment strategies for managing of reactivity include naming, anchoring, regulation, & self-empathy. . . . . . #compassion #empathy #reactivity #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness #nonviolentcommunication #relationships wiseheartpdx.org For in-the-moment managing of reactivity, you ideally have several possible strategies at hand. . . . . . #reactivity #managingreactivity #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness #nonviolentcommunication #nvc wiseheartpdx.org Healing work is necessary for everyone. The more you have integrated experiences of past pain, the less fodder there is for reactivity. . . . . . #healing #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #nonviolentcommunication #mindfulness #reactivity #growth wiseheartpdx.org "As you work through a particular situation using Mindful Compassionate Dialogue (MCD), you ideally gain an understanding of and respect for the other person’s experience—and they yours. This shared understanding allows for creative requests and agreements. Each time you do this successfully, your trust in the process grows as well as your own capacity for flexibility in making agreements." Read more in our weekly Connection Gem: https://www.wiseheartpdx.org/posts/2019/6/13/bias-and-relief-from-repetitive-arguments . . . . . . #howtostoparguing #arguing #helpwithconflict #helpwitharguing #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #trust #howtobuildtrust #helpwithtrust #agreements wiseheartpdx.org To prevent layers of reactivity when you do something you regret, engage in self-forgiveness and repair with others. . . . . . #forgiveness #regret #healing #selfforgiveness #amends #reactivity #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness #nvc wiseheartpdx.org Lifestyle choices to manage reactivity include the basics: adequate sleep, balancing work & play, & care for health. . . . . . #selfcare #balance #sleep #selflove #relationshipskills #reactivity #conflict #mcd #hakomi #nvc #mindfulness #relationshipgoals wiseheartpdx.org Q: "I have been told to manage reactivity by counting to ten or taking a deep breath, but these don’t seem to be effective for me. Why don’t they work?" A: The intervention must be as powerful as the reactivity. If your reactivity is high, you will need to do much more to come down from it. If your reactivity is low, these strategies could be effective. . . . . . #intervention #reactivity #relationshipskills #communicationskills #communicationskillsforcouples #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness #nonviolentcommunication #nvc wiseheartpdx.org In-the-moment strategies for managing reactivity rest upon your ability to recognize it early. . . . . . #managingreactivity #reactivity #relationshipskills #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness #nonviolentcommunication #nvc wiseheartpdx.org Managing reactivity includes at least four aspects: in-the-moment strategies, lifestyle choices, forgiveness/repair, and healing. . . . . . #managingreactivity #reactivity #lifeskills #repair #foregiveness #healing #nvc #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org As you begin to learn to manage reactivity, set your sights on an ever evolving path rather than an end goal. . . . . . #managingreactivity #reactivity #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness #nonviolentcommunication #nvc #relationshipskills wiseheartpdx.org "With betrayal there is often so much hurt that the mind continuously returns to thoughts of how awful and wrong the other person is. This makes it difficult to focus on your own experience. If your mind is stuck here, it's a sign that you need more empathy before beginning a reflection process." Read more in our weekly Connection Gem: https://www.wiseheartpdx.org/posts/2019/6/6/healing-from-betrayal . . . . . . #betrayal #lying #affair #healingfrombetrayal #trust #hurt #grief #healing #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #nonviolentcommunication #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org When you are completely clear about what it costs you to speak and act from reactivity, you will choose to manage it. . . . . . . #managingreactivity #reactivity #relationshipskills #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #nonviolentcommunication #mindfulness wiseheartpdx.org The second step in managing reactivity is to become completely clear about the futility of speaking and acting from it. . . . . . #managingreactivity #reactivity #awareness #mindfulcompassionatedialogue #hakomi #mindfulness #relationshipskills wiseheartpdx.org
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