8 Week Series: Relationship Repair (Video Conferencing or Self-Paced)

Saturday, September 4, 2021
10:00 AM 12:00 PM

Google Calendar ICS

Is this you?

You care deeply about maintaining connection with those you love and taking responsibility for the impact your actions have on others. You also want to be able to dialogue about what others do that don’t meet needs for you.

You want the confidence that any rupture in a relationship can be addressed and repaired.

You value the transformation and deepening of connection that comes from being able to repair effectively.

What is it all about?

When you learn the skills of relationship repair, you can remain equanimous in times of disconnect. You trust that you can find your way back to connection in the face of hurt and anger. Relationship repair builds confidence that your relationships can weather the most difficult of times.

Relationship repair means coming back together after an experience of disconnect and unmet needs. It requires the intention to connect and take responsibility for your behavior by naming what didn’t work, offering empathy, and making a plan to do something differently next time.

Relationship repair is most effective when you take care of reactivity before you begin the dialogue. Repair dialogue is a likely place for blame, shame, and defensiveness. By working with reactivity in specific ways before you initiate repair, you can maintain focus on connection, empathy, and honesty. Repair can then become an opportunity to build trust and to learn how to move forward in new ways.

Read more about relationship repair here.

Distinguish effective repair from common tragic strategies for repair
Engage an effective strategy for working with the four alarms before beginning repair dialogue
When you notice the impulses or behavior that involve defending, justifying, or making others wrong /bad, call a pause to engage your anchor
Maintain focus on feelings and needs related to the specific stated neutral observation of the behavior that didn’t meet needs
Express caring and associated feelings like regret, warmth, etc. when your behavior doesn’t meet needs
Commit to new specific and doable actions to prevent disconnect in future similar situations

About Mindful Compassionate Dialogue

Mindful Compassionate Dialogue (MCD) naturally supports you in creating the relationships you want by integrating the wisdom and skills of three powerful modalities: Hakomi, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and mindfulness.

Each modality contributes something unique to the process. Hakomi offers clarity about reactivity and healing. NVC provides a method for achieving self-responsibility, skillful communication, and agency. And mindfulness adds the stable attention and clear focus needed to continuously refine your understanding and skills.

MCD is a system meant to provide access to agency, compassion, mindfulness, and wisdom. Personal transformation is achieved through practice with the12 Relationship Competencies and Nine Foundations, which arise from a central, life-serving intention.

What to expect?

You will engage in conceptual learning, group discussion, experiential learning, and skills practice. Practice exercises will be done individually, in pairs, and in small groups. You can apply examples from your own life that you choose in the exercises.

Understanding the Online Format:

Students will be signing in to the workshop simultaneously in real time from their own locations, using Zoom. We will be able to see and hear each other. For visibility, it’s important to have a light in front of you, not behind you. The technology allows for breaking up into pairs or small groups, which the trainers can visit and check in with just as would happen in an in-person course.

You will be able to review a recording of the workshop for a full week after it ends. Students won’t be shown on the recording, but can be heard. You can participate in discussions via chat if you don’t want your voice recorded. Courses may be sold later as a pre-recorded course.

You can also opt to take the series only through the recording.

Having someone in your life available to do the exercises with you is recommended for this option.

You will receive a detailed handout as a part of the workshop that you can download and keep for future reference.

Details:

Live attendance means:

Arriving on time to the workshop.
Attending and participating for the duration of the class.
Attending at least 6 of the 8 class sessions
Access to the video recording for eight weeks following the last class.

Receiving a detailed handout that you can download and keep for later reference.
Ensuring you have consistent access to internet speeds and connectivity that support video conferencing (600kbps/1.2Mbps (up/down) for HQ video; 1.5Mbps/1.5Mbps (up/down) for gallery view).
Facility with using the Zoom video conferencing system. For more technical information about zoom, you can go here.