Two-Hour Introductory Workshop for Couples on Jan. 12, 2019 (Portland, OR)

Two-Hour Introductory Workshop for Couples on Jan. 12, 2019 (Portland, OR)


It can be maddening to find yourself going around and around with your partner over the same issues. You need a way to break out of the dynamic that leaves you feeling disconnected.

What goes wrong?

You and your partner are suddenly disconnected and arguing about missing a turn while driving. The content is trivial, but there is something important underneath, if only you could name it.

Mindful Compassionate Dialogue helps you name the real issues and address them effectively. The real issues are universal: love, respect, understanding, being heard & seen, caring, consideration, trust, intimacy — to name a few. Unfortunately these are communicated indirectly; for example, “You never listen to me!” could be more directly communicated like this: “Hearing you give me advice, I feel frustrated because I want to be heard. Would you be willing to tell me what you are hearing me rather than giving advice?”

What can you expect in this workshop:

  • Practice using skills with your partner and opportunity for questions.

  • There will be no small group work in this workshop so you won't need to share anything about your relationship with me or with the group.  

  • You will only be working with your partner in structured exercises. 

  • You will hear common questions and concerns from other couples that you give you a sense of acceptance and normalcy for the issues you and your partner face.

  • You will receive a handout that will help you continue to practice at home.

The objectives for the workshop are:

Walk away with an experience of the power of empathy and understand how it differs from other offerings of support such as sympathy, consoling, educating, and problem solving. 

  • Get a glimpse of how identifying the universal values/needs in a conflict can release you from stuckness, and help you find a new way forward. 

  • Learn about a major source of reactivity called "tender needs," and how you can learn to prevent and manage reactivity.



My wife and I have been married for almost nine years and together for fifteen. Overall, our relationship is healthy and loving. We really care for each other. Still, there are times when we see things differently and those times were fairly tough to work through. NVC, as guided by LaShelle, has given us a whole new language to use with each other without the triggers that used to lock us into our individual positions. We now understand and have compassion for our own and each others’ jackal voices and thoughts. I personally have a whole new vocabulary of feelings I am becoming more and more capable of getting in touch with and expressing.

Working with LaShelle, guiding us and watching her guide others through tough issues has been incredibly helpful. She is so fluent and insightful – a wonderful model to learn from and emulate. Her warm and compassionate way of leading our group always creates the safety it takes to risk being vulnerable. As a result of LaShelle’s class our relationship has reached a new depth and intimacy and isn’t that what it’s all about? 

Dan & Claudia Duggan, Beaverton, OR