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Attachment Theory and Relationship Skills - Eight Week Series Beginning March 29, 2019 (Video Conferencing or Self-Paced)

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Is this you?

As you grow in your practice of mindfulness and communication, you realize that communicating differently is only the beginning of how you can transform your relationship to yourself and others.   You experience layers and layers of perspective and understanding as your practice deepens.  You feel a readiness to integrate new understanding, discover new ways of being, and learn more about the nuance of relating.
You are willing to engage from a vulnerable and authentic place to contribute to others and receive from others.  You know this sometimes means pushing through psychic blocks and tolerating the discomfort of being seen and known at new levels.

You'd like to understand how the psychological system of attachment impacts your relationships and how you can take action to cultivate relationship skills that build emotional security in personal relationships.

What is it all about?

In this intermediate class series we will weave together Mindful Compassionate Dialogue  and attachment theory. Bringing these together we will learn new ways to see through reactivity; find feelings, needs, and requests; and create profound healing experiences.
While we can’t recreate the infant/caregiver attachment experience as adults, there is a lot we can do to create emotional security as adults and enjoy the gifts of that.  MCD provides an ideal doorway to create healthy attachment as an adult.  Empathy is key ingredient for the emotional attunement so needed for secure adult relationships.   At the same time, honest expression maintains the clear lines of responsibility and healthy differentiation also necessary for adult relationships.  

What to expect:

You will enter into a safe and supportive environment to learn and practice. You will have the opportunity to come together with a group of others who share your values and commitment to growth. You will notice that when an entire group brings forth this clear intention and dedication, a synergistic field is created that makes it easier for you to do the work you want to do.

You will work with examples from your own life. This means that you get to decide the level of vulnerability you will bring to each exercise. Exercises are structured so that you can challenge yourself and, at the same time, maintain mindfulness and learning. The focus is on empowering you to interrupt shame, to engage compassion for yourself, and to stand firmly in a sense of your inviolable worth.

For each class, there will be an introduction to concepts and skills, practice time in structured exercises within pairs or small groups, and whole-group questions and discussion time.

Class size ranges from 8–14 students. Each class contains students completely new to Wise Heart and students who know each other and me from previous classes.

An online eight week series is offered each quarter of 2019.

Here are the three major areas of focus for the course:
Understanding Concepts:
We will begin by learning the basic concepts and vocabulary of attachment theory.  You will have an opportunity to look at your own relationship experiences through the lens of attachment.  You will discover how your attachment experiences have created unconscious habits of relating.  Adult attachment research has identified three basic patterns of relating.  You will get a chance to see which of these three most matches your own patterns of relating and how this shows up in daily life.
Experiencing the Attachment System:
Once you have a way to name your experience, you will be guided more fully into it.  With a variety of mindfulness exercises, you will get know various dimensions of your experience as your attachment system is activated.  This will include:  body sensations, impulses, images, defenses, thoughts, feelings, needs, and shifts in energy.  As you become more and more familiar with your own unique attachment system, you will find it easier to meet yourself with compassion and stay grounded even in the midst of strong reactions.
Healing & Transformation:
Research relative to mindfulness, empathy, and attachment is very clear about our ability to heal and learn new ways of relating.  Through a safe and structured process each person will be able to engage in experiential exercises that contribute to healing and transformation.

Communicating about Emotional Security & Differentiation

You will learn and practice ways to communicate about these vulnerable and important parts of personal relationships. This will include ways of affirming boundaries, staying grounded in your autonomy, and fully expressing compassion for another without taking responsibility for them.

How it works:

For live attendance of classes, we will begin with five minutes of guided meditation (Live Attendance via Video Conferencing is SOLD OUT. Self-Paced option is still available).

I will then present a particular concept and skill. There will be an opportunity for questions or requests. Then, you will practice the skill in a short, structured exercise in either pairs or within a small group or the whole group. Exercises can be modified to give you more or less challenge depending on your learning edge. You may also engage in role plays. There will be an opportunity for a debrief and questions after each exercise.

Students will be signing in from their own location in real time, at the same time. We will be able to see and hear each other in little boxes on the screen. For visibility, it's important to have a light in front of you, not behind you. The technology allows for breaking up into pairs or small groups, which I can visit and check in with just as I would do in an in-person course.

It's okay to miss one or two classes in a series. You will receive a recording of the class and be asked to view it and do the corresponding exercises before the next class. Students won't be shown on the recording.

You can also opt to take the series only through the recording and to participate in discussion via the online format.

With the online format you can participate in a weekly discussion with all students I recommend that you find someone to do the course exercises with if you are receiving the recording.

You will receive a detailed workbook as a part of the class, which you will need to have with you for each class. This workbook is packed with information and contains instructions for each experiential exercise.


Live attendance means (Live Attendance via Video Conferencing is SOLD OUT. Self-Paced option is still available):

  • Attending at least six of the eight classes.

  • Arriving on time to each class (2:30 p.m. PDT).

  • Attending and participating for the duration of the class (2:30 p.m.–4:30 p.m., with a 10-minute break in the middle). It is very disruptive to come in and out of a single class session; please plan to attend by recording if you cannot stay for the full two hours of the class.

  • Consistent access to internet speeds and connectivity that support video conferencing (600kbps/1.2Mbps (up/down) for HQ video; 1.5Mbps/1.5Mbps (up/down) for gallery view).

  • Facility with using the Zoom video conferencing system. Please ask to consult with one of the staff members at Wise Heart if you are unsure about this aspect of your attendance.

  • Logging in each week using the initial instructions and meeting ID # you received before the start of the course.

  • Optional participation in the weekly online discussion with all students enrolled in the course.

Self-paced attendance means:  

  • As self-paced participants, you will receive an extensive workbook as well as access to the video recordings of each session within 24 hours of the end of the session (4:30 p.m. PDT).

  • You can ask to be assigned an empathy buddy to work with if you like.

  • Questions regarding the material, recordings, and practice each week will be answered by LaShelle via email correspondence. Please place the word QUESTION in all caps in the subject line so that we can track them and respond in a timely manner.

  • Optional participation in the weekly online discussion with all students enrolled in the course.

For more technical information about zoom, you can go here.  

  • Trainer: LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

  • When: 2:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. PDT, eight consecutive weekly meetings from March 29, 2019 – May 17, 2019

  • Where: Online Video Conference Course

  • Cost $250.00 (Participants can opt to pay a $99 deposit to register, and pay the remaining balance on or before the first day of the workshop.)



Live Attendance via Video Conferencing is SOLD OUT. This course has already started, but you may join the Self-Paced option up to two weeks after the start date of the course. To join, email us at