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My Connection Gem of the Week takes a specific issue in NVC and walks you through an example of how it is applied in real-life situations.

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Aug 15, 2014 Sensitivities & Reactivity Add a Comment
Aug 07, 2014 Handling Demands Add a Comment
Jul 30, 2014 Selfish and Self Responsible Add a Comment
Jul 25, 2014 The Alarms – Anger, Guilt, & Shame 12 Comments
Jul 23, 2014 Spiritual Ideals and Shame Add a Comment
Jul 10, 2014 Authenticity and Depression 3 Comments
Jun 27, 2014 Anchoring Conflict in Specifics 2 Comments
Jun 27, 2014 Giving Yourself Compassion 9 Comments
Jun 20, 2014 "Feeling Trapped" 10 Comments
Jun 12, 2014 Realizing Impact 4 Comments
Jun 06, 2014 Mindful Dialogue 4 Comments
May 30, 2014 Saying Thank You Add a Comment
May 22, 2014 Get Curious about Broken Agreements 4 Comments
May 20, 2014 “But it didn’t happen that way!” Add a Comment
May 15, 2014 The Purpose of Shame Add a Comment
May 07, 2014 Control: A Universal Strategy 2 Comments
May 06, 2014 Why Words Don’t Help 2 Comments
May 01, 2014 “Falling Out of Love” Add a Comment
Apr 22, 2014 Meeting Prejudice Add a Comment
Apr 16, 2014 Empathy Without Words Add a Comment
Apr 10, 2014 A Safe Space to Share 2 Comments
Apr 06, 2014 Praise Add a Comment
Apr 01, 2014 Verbal “Attacks” from Strangers 4 Comments
Mar 28, 2014 Helpful Time-outs Add a Comment
Mar 23, 2014 What are you telling yourself? Add a Comment
Mar 20, 2014 Plan for Reactivity Add a Comment
Mar 15, 2014 Lawyering for Your Needs 6 Comments
Mar 06, 2014 Accessing Your Innate Goodness 6 Comments
Mar 01, 2014 Self-Worth, Forgiveness, & Repair 18 Comments
Feb 28, 2014 Responding to ”Lawyering” Add a Comment
Feb 21, 2014 Wrong-Making & Transformation Add a Comment
Feb 14, 2014 Letting Go of Anger Add a Comment
Feb 14, 2014 Push, Pull, or Stuck - Finding Relationship Balance Add a Comment
Feb 04, 2014 Rules & Collaboration at Work 12 Comments
Jan 27, 2014 Your Ranting Boss 9 Comments
Jan 17, 2014 Depression & Relationships Add a Comment
Jan 12, 2014 Preferred Strategies in Relationship Negotiable & Non-negotiable Add a Comment
Jan 05, 2014 Disagreements, Ping-pong, and Collaboration Add a Comment
Dec 30, 2013 Empathy When Things are Fine 6 Comments
Dec 22, 2013 The Family You Wish You Had Add a Comment
Nov 27, 2013 The Tragic Cycle of Overwhelm & Withdraw 2 Comments
Nov 23, 2013 Empathy, Authenticity, & Shame Add a Comment
Nov 14, 2013 Body Image 2 Comments
Nov 08, 2013 Meeting Self-Criticism in Others 8 Comments
Oct 31, 2013 Personality or Reactivity 3 Comments
Oct 24, 2013 Compassion for Yourself Add a Comment
Oct 18, 2013 Relief from Anxiety Add a Comment
Oct 04, 2013 Curing the "I'm so busy" Disease 2 Comments
Oct 04, 2013 Obsession & Your Issues 2 Comments
Sep 27, 2013 Receiving Compliments 15 Comments
Sep 26, 2013 Truth Telling & Emotional Breakdown 2 Comments
Sep 19, 2013 Hurting Others on Purpose 6 Comments
Sep 13, 2013 Making Decisions from Overwhelm Add a Comment
Sep 06, 2013 Your Partner’s Inner World as Sacred Ground Add a Comment
Sep 05, 2013 Requests-Moving towards what you want Add a Comment
Aug 30, 2013 Concern for the World 8 Comments
Aug 22, 2013 Greeting your partner at the door Add a Comment
Aug 22, 2013 Sounding Natural 10 Comments
Aug 16, 2013 Defining Reactivity Add a Comment
Aug 08, 2013 Your Partner as Problem and Solution 8 Comments
Aug 03, 2013 Before A Money Conversation Add a Comment
Jul 25, 2013 Asking for a Pause Add a Comment
Jul 18, 2013 Knee-Jerk Negativity 16 Comments
Jul 08, 2013 Compromise & Reactivity 6 Comments
Jul 03, 2013 Compassion vs. Saving 6 Comments
Jun 25, 2013 Reactivity and Agreements Add a Comment
Jun 17, 2013 Not Taking It Personally 6 Comments
Jun 11, 2013 Equal Doesn't Mean Same Add a Comment
Jun 04, 2013 Hearing without Defending 12 Comments
May 21, 2013 Making Threats or Setting Boundaries Add a Comment
May 15, 2013 Building Trust 6 Comments
May 09, 2013 Intimate Relationship as a High Cost Strategy 4 Comments
May 07, 2013 You Don’t Want to Hurt Their Feelings (Part 2) Add a Comment
Apr 29, 2013 You Don’t Want to Hurt Their Feelings Add a Comment
Apr 26, 2013 Requests - Giving the Gift of Your Needs 8 Comments
Apr 22, 2013 Questions: A Cry for Empathy in Disguise Add a Comment
Apr 18, 2013 Emotional Dependence & Building a Yurt 6 Comments
Apr 16, 2013 Empathy: Meeting the Jackals 2 Comments
Apr 08, 2013 Invalidating Other's Feelings vs. Listening with Empathy 8 Comments
Apr 05, 2013 Integrity & Responsibility Add a Comment
Apr 02, 2013 Making a Safe Space for Requests Add a Comment
Mar 27, 2013 Building Trust with Attunement & Repair 2 Comments
Mar 26, 2013 Making Clear Requests Add a Comment
Mar 19, 2013 Making Demands Add a Comment
Mar 12, 2013 Checking Out Assumptions Add a Comment
Mar 08, 2013 Self-Empathy Fundamentals Add a Comment
Mar 05, 2013 Asking the Impossible vs. Do-able Requests 6 Comments
Feb 28, 2013 Meeting Your Partner’s Reactivity & Making Requests 2 Comments
Feb 26, 2013 “Don’t Criticize me!” vs. Do-able requests 12 Comments
Feb 22, 2013 Boldly Ask for the Relationship You Want 4 Comments
Feb 19, 2013 Making a Plan to Change Your Partner 4 Comments
Feb 14, 2013 Authority vs. Power Over / Power Under 2 Comments
Feb 12, 2013 Gossip 21 Comments
Feb 05, 2013 Interrupt to Connect Add a Comment
Jan 31, 2013 Losing Yourself to Anger and Blame Add a Comment
Jan 29, 2013 Loving Someone for Who They Are 16 Comments
Jan 22, 2013 When a Child Lies Add a Comment
Jan 15, 2013 Why you want an apology and Why it's not enough 4 Comments
Jan 08, 2013 Asking for Respect 4 Comments
Jan 03, 2013 Power Over Your Partner 2 Comments
Jan 01, 2013 Needs, what are they? 2 Comments
Dec 27, 2012 Making Others Accountable Add a Comment
Dec 25, 2012 Meeting Criticism with Criticism 12 Comments
Dec 22, 2012 Working Too Hard: Content vs. Connection (part 3 of 3) 2 Comments
Dec 17, 2012 When others don’t change 18 Comments
Dec 13, 2012 Working Too Hard: Content vs. Connection (part 2 of 3) Add a Comment
Dec 07, 2012 Working Too Hard: Managing Connection vs. Managing Content (part 1 of 3) Add a Comment
Dec 03, 2012 Good Intentions & Tragic Strategies Add a Comment
Nov 27, 2012 We Live to Serve Add a Comment
Nov 22, 2012 Runaway Truck Ramps for Reactivity Add a Comment
Nov 20, 2012 In a Mucky Conversation come back to Observation 2 Comments
Nov 20, 2012 Doing NVC vs. Living NVC Add a Comment
Nov 15, 2012 Self-Empathy and Still Stuck 2 Comments
Nov 14, 2012 Feeling "Excluded" 8 Comments
Nov 09, 2012 Are you hiding behind empathy? 8 Comments
Nov 05, 2012 Self-Empathy, Needs, & Requests Add a Comment
Oct 31, 2012 Choice 6 Comments
Oct 26, 2012 NVC & Mental Illness 6 Comments
Oct 23, 2012 Feelings that blame? 12 Comments
Oct 17, 2012 Conspiring for Compassion Add a Comment
Oct 12, 2012 When You Can't Change Others 2 Comments
Oct 09, 2012 Identify Your Needs On The Fly 12 Comments
Oct 05, 2012 “Healthy Disconnect" Add a Comment
Oct 02, 2012 I can’t stop analyzing! Add a Comment
Sep 23, 2012 Personal Boundaries 8 Comments
Sep 18, 2012 Saying No 2 Comments
Sep 06, 2012 Emotional Medicine 2 Comments
Sep 04, 2012 When Your Past Shows Up in the Present Add a Comment
Aug 31, 2012 Glacial Change 1 Comment
Aug 28, 2012 Lasting Happiness in Ice Cream Add a Comment
Aug 26, 2012 Apologies That Help 4 Comments
Aug 21, 2012 Moving from Self-Criticism to Self- Empathy 4 Comments
Aug 14, 2012 What’s Between Self-Criticism and Self- Empathy? (Part 1) 4 Comments
Aug 09, 2012 Offering “too much” Empathy 6 Comments
Aug 07, 2012 Basics for Self-Empathy 4 Comments
Aug 01, 2012 The Cost of Self-Reliance 2 Comments
Jul 26, 2012 The Caretaker Partner 4 Comments
Jul 24, 2012 When others become ”Its” Add a Comment
Jul 17, 2012 Sharing NVC Add a Comment
Jul 12, 2012 “Emotional Cheating” 6 Comments
Jul 10, 2012 It’s not about NVC Add a Comment
Jul 05, 2012 Moving from Attachment to Abundance 4 Comments
Jul 05, 2012 Family Healing 8 Comments
Jun 30, 2012 Needy 8 Comments
Jun 26, 2012 The Spirituality of NVC Add a Comment
Jun 21, 2012 When he doesn’t want to talk about it 1 Comment
Jun 19, 2012 Obsessed with What's Wrong 2 Comments
Jun 14, 2012 Comparing Jackals 6 Comments
Jun 12, 2012 Taming Your Monkey Mind Add a Comment
Jun 07, 2012 Conditions for Reactivity & Centeredness 1 Comment
Jun 05, 2012 Getting Started with Mindfulness & Jackals 4 Comments
May 24, 2012 Setting Boundaries & Letting Go of Resolution 4 Comments
May 09, 2012 When Your Partner Runs Out of Gas-Part 2 1 Comment
May 03, 2012 When Your Partner Runs Out of Gas 3 Comments
Apr 26, 2012 Empathy vs. Investigation 2 Comments
Apr 19, 2012 Creating Safety 1 Comment
Apr 12, 2012 Apologies in NVC 4 Comments
Mar 29, 2012 Wriggling Away from Anxiety Add a Comment
Mar 16, 2012 The Dating Game 1 Comment
Feb 09, 2012 Asking for the Love You Want 1 Comment
Jan 25, 2012 Accepting Your Partner Too Much 11 Comments
Jan 13, 2012 Choosing Attachment 2 Comments
Jan 06, 2012 Asking for and Giving Advice 7 Comments
Dec 29, 2011 Lost Love & the Drive Towards Wholeness 3 Comments
Dec 15, 2011 The Stress of Fear & Clinging Add a Comment
Dec 09, 2011 Depression and Abandoning Yourself 5 Comments
Dec 04, 2011 Depression 6 Comments
Nov 10, 2011 Your Partner's Self-Criticism 2 Comments
Nov 03, 2011 Build a Bridge before Crossing 3 Comments
Oct 27, 2011 Your Partner's Reactivity isn't About You 3 Comments
Oct 20, 2011 There's No Such Thing as Independence Add a Comment
Oct 13, 2011 The Basics of Working with Reactivity 5 Comments
Oct 05, 2011 Naming and Owning Reactivity 2 Comments
Sep 29, 2011 Responding to Jackals in the Moment 1 Comment
Sep 22, 2011 Your Tired Partner 4 Comments
Sep 14, 2011 Responding to "Big Personalities" 5 Comments
Sep 07, 2011 Working too hard at Listening? Add a Comment
Sep 01, 2011 Catching Your Partner in the Wrong Add a Comment
Aug 10, 2011 Pulling at Your Distant Partner 11 Comments
Jul 27, 2011 Changing Relationship with Less Technology 3 Comments
Jul 21, 2011 Curiosity for Poor Decisions 2 Comments
Jul 14, 2011 Managing Emotions and Herding Cats 5 Comments
Jul 07, 2011 How "Acceptance" Escalates Conflict Add a Comment
Jun 30, 2011 Family Member in Trouble 7 Comments
Jun 23, 2011 Complaining II 2 Comments
Jun 02, 2011 When Every Request is a Demand 4 Comments
May 11, 2011 Loving without Giving Yourself Away 3 Comments
May 05, 2011 Responding to "You always...!" 1 Comment
Apr 21, 2011 Working Hard to be Seen 2 Comments
Apr 13, 2011 Complaining 1 Comment
Apr 06, 2011 NVC in the Workplace 4 Comments
Mar 24, 2011 Pause & Resource 1 Comment
Mar 15, 2011 Understanding & Responding to Blame 11 Comments
Mar 11, 2011 Taking Responsibility for Your Healing 4 Comments
Mar 03, 2011 Self-Expression & Identity 2 Comments
Feb 25, 2011 Before the Heated Argument 1 Comment
Feb 16, 2011 Guidelines for Self-Reflection Add a Comment
Feb 10, 2011 Staying with "No" Add a Comment
Feb 02, 2011 Intention and Effect Add a Comment
Jan 27, 2011 The Attraction of Blame 1 Comment
Jan 20, 2011 "I can't be myself in this relationship" 28 Comments
Jan 11, 2011 Equanimity with Painful Feelings 5 Comments
Jan 05, 2011 Basic Guidelines for Dialogue 1 Comment
Dec 29, 2010 Asking for Presence Add a Comment
Dec 22, 2010 Taking Care of Yourself When Visiting Family 3 Comments
Dec 08, 2010 Expectations of Your Partner Add a Comment
Nov 25, 2010 Setting Boundaries around Reactivity 1 Comment
Nov 18, 2010 Setting Boundaries from the Inside 8 Comments
Nov 05, 2010 Facing the "Difficult" Person 15 Comments
Oct 28, 2010 Analyzing Your Partner's Needs Add a Comment
Oct 14, 2010 Heart-full Requests 1 Comment
Oct 07, 2010 Making Your Relationship a Priority Without Losing Yourself Add a Comment
Sep 30, 2010 When You "Have To" (Belonging vs. Choice) Add a Comment
Sep 23, 2010 Slow Isn't Everything Add a Comment
Sep 15, 2010 Big Emotion Add a Comment
Sep 01, 2010 Control Disguised as a Request Add a Comment
Aug 25, 2010 Hearing Criticism from Others 6 Comments
Aug 18, 2010 A Pitfall of Improving Your Relationship 1 Comment
Aug 11, 2010 Trapped in Reactive Thinking 1 Comment
Aug 04, 2010 Hiding from Your Partner Add a Comment
Jul 22, 2010 Emergency Measures for Escalating Arguments 1 Comment
Jul 11, 2010 Helpful Time-outs 1 Comment
Jul 07, 2010 Information in Celebration 1 Comment
Jun 24, 2010 A Stable Sense of Support in Economic Instability Add a Comment
Jun 17, 2010 Do you have more or less of a need? 5 Comments
Jun 10, 2010 Shame Jackals Keep You Stuck 3 Comments
Jun 03, 2010 The True Purpose of Appreciation 1 Comment
May 27, 2010 Empathy Doesn't Have to Wear You Out 3 Comments
May 20, 2010 You've Asked Over & Over Again 1 Comment
May 05, 2010 Finding Aliveness - When You Are Being Talked At 1 Comment
Apr 29, 2010 How Staying Positive Can Leave You Lonely 4 Comments
Apr 22, 2010 Responding to Arguments Against NVC 4 Comments
Apr 16, 2010 You don't have to agree to be supportive 2 Comments
Apr 01, 2010 Apologies That Mean Something 3 Comments
Mar 18, 2010 Alarm Feelings - Anger, Guilt, Shame, & Depression 4 Comments
Mar 11, 2010 Screaming in Anger Add a Comment
Feb 04, 2010 When Empathy Doesn't Work 1 Comment
Jan 28, 2010 No More Compromise 1 Comment
Jan 21, 2010 Interrupting to Connect 2 Comments
Jan 15, 2010 Empathy for Long Term Relationships 1 Comment
Jan 01, 2010 When Message Sent Isn't Message Received Add a Comment
Dec 17, 2009 When Your Past Shows Up in the Present 3 Comments
Dec 11, 2009 When You Just Want an Apology! 5 Comments
Dec 02, 2009 A Vision of Success with a Stuck Argument Add a Comment
Nov 27, 2009 Becoming the Perfect You 2 Comments
Nov 18, 2009 Working too hard at Listening? 4 Comments
Oct 29, 2009 Monogamy in a World of Attractive Others 4 Comments
Oct 25, 2009 Avoiding the Resentful Listener Add a Comment
Oct 15, 2009 Comparing Yourself to Others 1 Comment
Oct 01, 2009 When Others don't receive your empathy Add a Comment
Sep 24, 2009 Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck Add a Comment
Sep 17, 2009 Jackal Language & Reactivity 2 Comments
Sep 02, 2009 Reigniting Intimacy Add a Comment
Aug 27, 2009 Angry & Resentful Add a Comment
Aug 13, 2009 Defending Against Intimacy Add a Comment
Aug 06, 2009 Showing Your Partner that S/he is a Priority 4 Comments
Jul 30, 2009 Supporting Your Partner's Autonomy 3 Comments
Jul 23, 2009 Come Closer, Give Me Space Add a Comment
Jul 09, 2009 When You Want to Scream 2 Comments
Jul 02, 2009 Decision Making Add a Comment
Jun 25, 2009 When Everything Changes Add a Comment
Jun 18, 2009 When You Want More Conversation Add a Comment
Jun 11, 2009 If only you were different, he would change 4 Comments
Jun 03, 2009 Empathy Hostage Add a Comment
May 27, 2009 Success with Reactivity 1 Comment
May 21, 2009 The Relationship Score Card 2 Comments
May 10, 2009 Keeping Boundaries 4 Comments
Apr 16, 2009 Between Needs and Strategies Add a Comment
Apr 08, 2009 A Competition in Suffering 2 Comments
Apr 02, 2009 Pausing for Self-Reflection 3 Comments
Mar 11, 2009 Slippery Conversations 1 Comment
Mar 06, 2009 Anger – A Help and A Hindrance Add a Comment
Feb 26, 2009 Anxious about Anxiety 1 Comment
Feb 05, 2009 Saying No Means Saying Yes 1 Comment
Jan 28, 2009 Invalidating Other’s Feelings Add a Comment
Jan 22, 2009 A Volume Knob for Needs Add a Comment
Jan 15, 2009 A Little Listening Disconnect 1 Comment
Jan 08, 2009 Manipulation 3 Comments
Jan 01, 2009 Pitfalls of Praise Add a Comment
Dec 26, 2008 Family & Holidays 1 Comment
Dec 18, 2008 Looking for Depth in Your Relationship Add a Comment
Dec 03, 2008 Stuck in the Past (part 2) Add a Comment
Nov 28, 2008 Stuck in the Past (part 1) Add a Comment
Nov 20, 2008 Making Reactivity Easier Add a Comment
Nov 12, 2008 Why not ask “why”? Add a Comment
Nov 05, 2008 Safely Criticizing Add a Comment
Oct 30, 2008 The Confusing Question: "How are you?" 1 Comment
Oct 22, 2008 Tired of Defending Against Jackal Ears Add a Comment
Oct 16, 2008 Deadening Monologues Add a Comment
Oct 02, 2008 Disagree and Celebrate Anyway Add a Comment
Sep 25, 2008 Chasing Happiness Add a Comment
Aug 22, 2008 Who’s Abandoning Who? Add a Comment
Jun 22, 2008 Connection with Your Noisy Neighbor 4 Comments
May 28, 2008 Sex (part 2): Talking about Sex Add a Comment
May 12, 2008 Sex (part 1): Is it a Need or a Strategy? Add a Comment
Apr 29, 2008 Giraffe & Jackal Gestures Add a Comment
Apr 15, 2008 Your Stuck Friend (Part 2) Add a Comment
Apr 08, 2008 Your Stuck Friend (Part 1) Add a Comment
Mar 26, 2008 One Need Add a Comment
Mar 18, 2008 Sharing Unmet Needs from Abundance Add a Comment
Oct 16, 2007 Dead Job Interviews Add a Comment
May 01, 2007 Less is More Add a Comment
Nov 07, 2006 Giving from the Heart Add a Comment