Conspiring for Compassion
I was talking with a student today who said, "Look, I have really tried to communicate compassionately.Nobody communicates this way!"
My heart ached hearing his frustration and despair.It is very difficult to carry the consciousness and language of Compassionate Communication (NVC) on your own.Shifting your consciousness and communicating from a new paradigm requires the support of others who are doing the same.
You can find this support by attending workshops and classes or by starting your own practice group.You can also invite people to join you in receiving others with empathy or responding differently.
Recently someone shared the story of how he asked his roommates to help him guess the needs of their landlord who they have conflict with.This has helped him to stay in a NVC consciousness as well as diffusing a lot of jackal talk.
Someone else shared the story of how his boss reported that they had lost a contract because of a conflict with the client.He approached his boss with a guess at the needs that might be up for the client and explained that he had been learning NVC.The boss took what he heard to heart and had another conversation with the client in which they decided to continue the contract.
Living in integrity with your values is supported when you see your values embodied in the people around you.When the people of your intimate community embody your values, you have a place of refuge and support.Having this kind of community in your life enables you to meet others with compassion and grace.
This week take refuge in the company of someone who reflects your values back to you by the way they live their life.Ask them out for a walk or cup of tea.